Last Sunday, as every is the same with every first Sunday of the month, I gathered with my brothers and sisters at the front of the church and took my small white cubed bread and my small plastic cup of grape juice and came to the altar to say “Thanks”. But I really didn’t feel like it. Lately, I’ve been plagued by doubt and worry and have been reminded of my sin, that which so easily entangles and holds me back from running the race with all dilligence. I really did not feel worthy to take the bread and cup, let alone be gathered with my brothers and sisters.
What do you do on days like this?
I took the cup and the bread. I knew no better time to take this cup and bread, to say most clearly what I needed to hear and understand fully. In my weakness, and in my weakest moment of sin and doubt that I need A savior the most. There can be no greater time that I need to know the faithful dependency of a Sovereign Lord than when I am aware of my distance from Him and yet I can walk back into His presence.
I would encourage you, when called to take up the cup and be gathered with his people, not to shrink back into yourself, but to run to Him. When you feel like you don’t deserve Him the most, know that “while you were still sinners Christ died for us”. Further, “by this we know love, that He laid down his life.”. You need Him the most when you think you don’t deserve Him at all.