The Periodic Table just got heavier


The world of science announced yesterday that they “discovered” two new elements. For now they’re called 114 and 116. They are the heaviest elements recorded…but they only last a few seconds. They break down in seconds: 116 becomes 114, and 114 becomes copernicum.

I say “discovered” because they were made. These two elements do not exist in the wild. At least not in our wild, but not to say it would be impossible to find them. Well, you may find 116 but before you could get all your doodads together you’d you’d be stuck just to find copernicum. Kind of a let down.

Naming these elements is tricky… Do you give the name to those who created it, or to some other figure with greater claims to his name? And these guys were Russian. So, do we really want the heaviest elements named after a specific place and person? I’m not even sure that I would want the heaviest element named after me. I think it would too much of an implication as to my own girth and density. Or, as a change we could just let them be named as a number. How original would that be?

114 and 116 forever!

Or maybe we get real clever: onehundredfourteentium and onehundredsixteenium. I think it may work.


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