Cop/paste: 3.24.06 – 4.21.06

April 21, 2006 – Friday

it’s been a while

Today marks the 7th year anniversary of the converstaion that changed my life. It was 7 years ago today that I was having a conversation with two people about the Columbine massacre that had occurred the day before. Its amazing how much of my life has changed since that day, and I thank God for it everyday. Though I’m not sure that the other two who I was in converstaion with had any clue what was going on within me, their responses opened a flood gate of questions and started my hard seeking for God, the only one I knew who could answer me.

And when I knocked, He answered.
When I sought I found.
And when I truly tasted and truly saw
I knew it was good.
Currently listening :
Pretend You’re Alive
By Lovedrug
Release date: 27 July, 2004

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April 20, 2006 – Thursday

a new journal

Today i started writing in my brand new journal. In the past 6 years, i ahve filled 4 journals with my thoughts, prayers, adventures and mishaps. it’s amazing how much has transpired in while logging away on those pages. Full pages of life, which I can look back through and see where God has brought me. While I was writing my first entry, it came into my mind that it was really God who urged me towards journaling. I’m writing kind of a new testament in good gospel fashion (in hoping of not soudning blasphemous, please just continue reading). You see, a good gospel would tell of the writer’s encounter with Christ, their reaction to Christ and how Christ really have changed their lives and the lives of those who encounter Him. Well, since my black journal (they all have different colours) I am really writing all these thigns. And I continue to write because, well, God is done with me yet. Maybe when I am done, someone will be able to read from it and learn. Or at least, avoid the smae pitfalls I encountered.

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April 14, 2006 – Friday

Good Friday

Today is a day like any other day. Josephus doesn’t even point out anything particular about today. It was just a day that meant nothing to a lot of people. But to a few it meant something. And to one person it meant “It is finished.”

Today is my New Year’s. It is a day for me to really think about the past year and see where I’ve come. Since last Easter my daughter has been alive for a full year and we have concieved again. My wife and I have had a great year. Relationships I’ve had with some have been mended and others have been made stronger. But where am I? I am looking for so much that can really only be met by me at the cross. For here I find meaning and truth, and purpose. Whatever I am slave to defines my freedom. If I am enslaved to anything, I am free in nothing. My hand can only move so far from where my leg is bound.
And here I am at the base again, looking up and at the one I call king crucified. I take Him down and bury Him in my grave. Tomorrow is the longest day of the year, I believe. Will He come back? Will I ever see Him again? The questions linger and does not help my unbelief.
I have the fortunacy of hindsight. I know my redeemer lives. Even as I walked through the stations tonight, I knew He lives. But do I really act that way? Is my confidence and are my words such that there is never a doubt as to that fact?

Father, I hope so.
May this New Year be a blessing to Your name.

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April 13, 2006 – Thursday

Girl’s names

So, we’ve decided, and yet our indecision still stands. Here, again, for those that forgot, is the name of our child due in Oct if it is a boy:

Ewan Warwick Davidson Fuller

Strong and sure we are of this. And after much hmmming and hahing, we have come down to two names for girls:

Lillian Eilleen Ashlyn Fuller
Teagan Grace Ashlyn Fuller

So, I guess now is the time to cast your vote… it would seem everyone has an opinion, which they are entitled to. The important thing is that we have a boy. I mean, that we all get along no matter what name we were to choose.

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April 12, 2006 – Wednesday

It;’s not luck

So, last night I ahd an incredible night at work. Since leaving my post as bartender at the Robin, God has just continually blessed me at the Robin. I make a large amount of money everytime I work in the short time I am on the clock.. usally 2-3 times more than others who ahve been on the same amount of time I have been on. It’;s just been incredible. God assurred me that I wouldn;t have to worry about money, and He has been so faithful.
But, here is the rub. Would I still sing His praises if I wasn’t? I eman, what if I wasn’t making this amount the nights I work? Wold be wondering where He is instead?
In all actuality, I wnat to say, Yes, I would. I do nothing on my own, and every good and perfect gift comes from Him. No matter how much i make, its all from Him and its more than I had when I walked in the door.

So, thank You, Father. For all Your blessings.

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April 10, 2006 – Monday

The Stations of the Cross

For all you kids in the Harrisburg area, this friday night there will be a showing of the Stations of the Cross at my church, Devonshire Church. All are welcome. it starts at 7:30 pm and the doors close at 9pm. you walk through at your own pace and you experience each station individually. It’s really cool. We did it last year and had a great turn out.
I will be showing two paintings this year, as well as one poem. I put the poem below to hopefully pique your interest. Its an amazing night, and I hope to see you all there!

To be read aloud
You were resolved but could you watch
As CLANG hammer hit nail head?
Did you THUD flinch as nail hit notch
Or THUD strain as wood turned red?
Sear-THUD-ing pain from now bruis’d back
THUD What are your thoughts? Can you THUD
Even hear your thoughts as THUD CRACK
Eyes are covered with S T R A I N blood?
Steel through flesh, cold as THUD hearts
Who look down upon crea-CLANG-tor
Mangled; who devised THUD such arts,
Atrocities? Sustain-THUD-er
How much of this cup will you fill?
Still here I hear “Not my Will”.

Currently listening :
Town Hall, New York City, June 22, 1945
By Dizzy Gillespie
Release date: 21 June, 2005

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April 7, 2006 – Friday

I feel like Adam

So, we are trying to name our child. If it’s a boy, we already got it… (sit down now if you are not already)…

Ewan Warwick Davidson Fuller.

Girl’s names though are giving me, at least, a bit of a headache. Claire was realy the only name we could agree on. I’m glad we did, its a gerat name and suits are daughter great. you look at her and say to yourself, “Yes, I can see it. She looks like a Claire. And the meaning is nice… “clear”. (Ewan means “lamb of God”, by the way). But new names are hard on us.
I like Helen, or even Helena (keep the My Chemical Romance jokes to yourself), adn she likes Ellen.
She likes Anya, I like Alice.
I also like, Susan, June, and Lucy.
She likes Grace.
Now, don;t get me wrong if your name is Grace or Ellen, or Anya, those are great names. Just not great names for my daughter, if we have a daughter, which I am ok with.
We have tentatively called a truce on Lillianne. I would prefer Lily, but what can you do?
I think Apple would be a great name, as well as Cumquat. But, you see, I think thats the problem. How can someone be respected when they like both Alice and Apple?

Any other good names out there?

My daughter is a rocker!

Currently reading :
Cool Names: for Babies
By Pamela Redmond Satran
Release date: 07 August, 2003

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April 6, 2006 – Thursday

All I want is turkish delight….

So, Edmund wants turkish delight. Granted it is enchanted and the more you eat the more you want, even to the point of it killing you. But he wants it. Desires it. Even before the Witch gives it to him, it is what he wants.
Little known fact, Lewis did not make up the word “Aslan”. In fact it’s been around for centuries. It is turkish for “lion”.

Maybe you can already see where I’m going with this.

Edmund’s desires are no different than our own. Before we think we want the desire of our hearts, God is already calling out to us (Wesley called this prevenient grace). Christ is the desire of our lives and our hearts, and until we can put a proper name to it we fill this desire with lusts of the flesh… fixes that just get us by.
But for Edmund there really is only one real Turkish Delight, and that is Aslan.

Currently reading :
The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (Full-Color Collector’s Edition)
By C. S. Lewis
Release date: 30 September, 2000

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April 5, 2006 – Wednesday

What Lucy found there

I’m re-re-re-reading The Chronicles of Narnia. This is now my second time this year alone. I’m not obsessed, these are just great stories and everytime I read them I am amazed at what I missed the first couple of times, or by what I forgot. I do this a lot. We’re not the richest kids in the world, so I’ve decided to stop buying books for awhile and just re-read what I do own. I forget much more than I actually read.
This goes with the Bible, too. Our church challenged us to read the Bible in a year. So I am, but this is not the first time i’ve read the whole Bible. But I am amazed what I am reminded of, and what I missed on several goes. And we’re told to “hide God’s Word in our hearts”, adn to meditate on it day and night. That such actions cause right living and blessings.
I think just being reminded of God’s faithfulness has the same affect. And that is what I’ve been reminded of lately. He is faithful to His word, in both when He promises rewards, and punishments. He is faithful.

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April 4, 2006 – Tuesday

Thinkin more and more

‘The intention to be formed is to have the great God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ a constant presence in our mind, crowding out every false idea or destructive image, all misinformation about god, and every crooked inference or belief.”

-Dallas Willard, Renovation of the Heart, p112

I was asked today by someone if I loved church. If I didn’t think it was boring. I was asked because it got let out I’m going to be a pastor… its not so mucha secret as some are just generally surprised.
To me the question is odd. And this is why: you generally listen to the radio station that plays the variety of music you like. You ahve no problem making friends with similar interests. If you want to play the guitar you don;t go get piano lessons. So, seeing as the church, the family of believers instituted by Christ, is the place designed to encourage you in your belief, and it is a believe I had some hand in choosing to believe, why is it such an odd thing that I go and enjoy going to church?
All my friends go there. Its where I am encouraged in my walk. And if my life is focused on God why not the place He started and saidd he’d be?

I think even more amazing to me is the fact that this was asked by a close friend of someone who goes to my church; they were sitting right across from them. Why ask me? Their friend goes to church with me. Why not aske them? Or, maybe they don’t know. Maybe, thats the real odd part of the conversation.

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April 1, 2006 – Saturday

No Foolin’

So, realising that today is April Fool’s Day is so important. You want to be aware of these kind of days for your own safety, really.
Today used to be the beginning of the new year for several people groups around the world. It is still in Spring that Jews celebrate the first month of Nissan. For others it was a time when the earth finally woke up from it’s long winter nap.
And we all know what a new year is for… resolutions! So, here we are half way trhough the lenten season, some are trying to be better until Easter, adn some are trying to make a lifetime of change in 40 days. I started with some fasting, and ended with some assurrance. But I haven’t really “changed” anything for the sake of 40 days. There are lots of thigns I’d like to be different, but these things call for me to persevere for the rest of my life.

And no, I probably won;t be playing any pranks today… I’m the kinda guy who can dish it out but can’t take it in… so I err on the side of not doing anything so it doesn’t get done to me.

Currently reading :
Authentic Faith: The Power of a Fire-Tested Life
By Gary Thomas
Release date: 01 February, 2002

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March 31, 2006 – Friday

yeah, its gone

I, because I have stuff comign up in the weeks to come, wnated to make sure that when those things come up I’d look good, or at least normal. So, I got my haircut. I didn;t do anythign drastic, but it was cut to make it look like the “in-between” stage. You know.. where things don;t quite look right, but you’re holding your breath or pouring on the mane&tail in the hopes it’s gonna be ok when its all done doing what it needs to do.
And what better weather to get your hair cut in? It is absolutely gorgeous out there. So why am I in here? good question… I’m out.
I promise a more insightful blog later on tonight.
or at lest tomorrow.

Currently listening :
Friction, Baby
By Better Than Ezra
Release date: 13 August, 1996

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March 30, 2006 – Thursday

SOme good reading

I am currently reading Gary Thomas’s Authentic Faith, and am really enjoying his insights. Last night, though, I was struck by a quote from Gary Haugen, who is a worker for IJM and has seen a lot of autrocities in his life. I’m not gonna comment on it, because I think anything I could add would just detarct. Here is what he said in resonse to his trip to Rwanda to determine how masses of people were killed:
“‘If you wnat to know somebody,’ he says, ‘you want to know where they come from, what they’ve been through. And if you want to know what God is like, you need to know something about where He’s been, I think it’s hard for us living in comfortable North America communities to think that God has been in some of the places that he has been. Becasue that’s one fo the hard things for me to think about: what it was like for God to endure all those people gatehred in these churches who clearly were crying out to Him in the midst [of being massacred]'”

“‘It’s not a side issue, that his people address sufferring and injustice. It;s not one of those extra-credit options, that if you do everything else, then maybe you can do something on behalf of those who are victimized by the abuse of power. It’s the thing that breaks [God’s] heart. And then we have to ask, why is something that is so passionately important to god only mildly interesting to us?”

Currently reading :
Authentic Faith: The Power of a Fire-Tested Life
By Gary Thomas
Release date: 01 February, 2002

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March 28, 2006 – Tuesday

A Story

A friend of mine, whom granted I have not talked to in a long time, but still consider friendly, wrote this “story”, which I’m not sure if she knows it or not, is semi-autobiographical. She entitled it “A Story of a Girl”.
Well this got me thinkin’, as good blogs do, about what the title of my auto-bio would be. I would rather hope that someone else would write it, I have a tendency to think that everything is very important. I wouldn;t wnat to use an inside joke for fear of making otehrs feel left out (take the “title” of my blog page… it references my poor typing ability which only a few really pick up on). I wouldn’t use a song title, becuase well I’d hate to be sued or use the title incorrectly. hmmm… I could take a reference point form my life such as:
“The Reader”, or
“Look at all teh jobs I’ve had!”
I’d wnat it to be cool. Like “The Catcher in the Rye”. Or “of Mice and Men.” Maybe I’ll pull an “East of Harrisburg”. Most fot eh really good titles are taken, I agree. Hmmm…
what about: “The Life & Times of Warwick”.
Or, “Not just a city” (get it? There are tons of towns and cities named Warwick, but how many poeple do you know? See, its not clever if I haev to explain it.)
I have no clue.

If I had a band, it would be called “ender”, that I’m pretty sure of.
An auto-bio… I have no clue.

Currently reading :
A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man (Penguin Classics)
By James Joyce
Release date: 25 March, 2003

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March 24, 2006 – Friday

Be Careful!

“So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and in His good time He will honor you. Give all your worries and cares to God, for He cares what happens to you.”

– 1 Peter 5:6,7

“in His good time” is a hard thing to wrestle with. When we say someone is taking their good sweet time, it usually has more to do with unwillingness or laziness. Its hard to wait for someone who you know is dawdling, or slacking on their responsibility.
Its not so with God. He just knows better than we do.
But it’s still hard.

But what can we do while we’re waiting and being humble? Well, I guess I could work on being and maintaining my humility. Not trying to rush God, or be God by my actions. And in true humility, not act as though my cares and worries are the center of my existence. If I am able to give them to God, then I can help my neighbour. I can focus on thier needs, and not so much on mine. Thats what I should be doing, anyway. The less I focus on myself, the more I can then love my neighbour. ANd while I am focused on them, the time will go quickly. I will not be watching for the clouds to break open, or the sky to be rolled back as a scroll. I’ll be so busy helping and loving otehrs, sharing the messgae of the gospel in tangible ways, hey, I may even be shocked to see Christ!
But really, I’d have been so focused on Him, it wouldn’t be such a shock I imagine. I’ve had my eyes on Him the whole time.

Currently listening :
By Coldplay
Release date: 07 June, 2005

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