yet more copy/paste to update…

March 23, 2006 – Thursday

I have my first “real” job interview

That’s right! I sent out 8 resumes, and a church actually called me! Its a UM church in Benton, Louisiana, which is a little north of Shreveport. i head down teh weekend after Easter!
It’s amazing. Heather and I have been praying about this. It finally hit me today while I was talking to Derek that we are leaving Harrisburg. We’re starting fresh. It’s so exciting. Even if it’s not this job, it will be one of them. The closest church I’ve applied to is in Mechanicsburg. The rest are all in other states…FL, MI, TN, LA, MD… Our whole idea of life is gonna change again.
And God is faithful and true. So faithful. And so true.

Currently listening :
Ghosts
By Sleeping at Last
Release date: 07 October, 2003

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March 21, 2006 – Tuesday

avert your eyes, please

This is a prayer between God and me, so if you could, please, just avert your eyes.

Father,
I thirst. For rain, for mountains, for green grass, for You to make things new. I thirst for days that need no sun, and all things are satisfied and satiated in You. We won’t ask questions, but just be. With You. I thirst for You.

Thanks & Amen

Ok, you can look now. Thanks.

Currently listening :
Starfield
By Starfield
Release date: 18 May, 2004

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March 20, 2006 – Monday

“It came out of the sky!”

My pastor was telling me this story this past weekend: He was driving his son home form school on a windy road on a windy day, when a thick branch fell out of the sky and hit his tire, then his mirror. I had asked him if it had scared him a bit, but it took him by surprise more.
It came out of the sky. I am always held in wonder by thigns above. Clouds, stars, birds, how they stay up there.. its amazing. And the things that come out of the sky seem to take me by surprise the most. Snow, rain, lightning, birds, kites, falling limbs.. no one ever expects the things up there to come down here. Maybe thats really why we run for shelter when rain comes.. its just water, really.
He came out of the sky. These are words I expect when we realise Christ has come back. But we shouldn;t really be taken by surprise, right? We were told, by Him and by others that this is what was going to happen, right? But we’re also told its gonna take us by surprise.

Currently listening :
Final Straw
By Snow Patrol
Release date: 30 March, 2004

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March 17, 2006 – Friday

“When I get a bradn new, hair do…”

Every morning, on weekdays, i wake to the sound of the hairdryer. Heather does her hair and make-up at teh vanity I bought her and put upstairs in the bedroom becasue our bathroom is too small for such things. But I roll over and see my daughter on my wife’s lap. Claire is “doing” her hair or making faces in the mirror, or just chattering away while Heather is getting ready.
It’s so cool to see such things. It’s beautiful and innocent. While the more cynical would say that my daughter is being taught gender traits that only confine and coerce, I say “to the pure all things are pure”. Here is as it should be. It is beautiful. And no amount of makeup could cover up this beauty.

Currently listening :
Final Straw
By Snow Patrol
Release date: 30 March, 2004

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March 15, 2006 – Wednesday

Strong set of forearms

Luke and I went out last night.. doo da doo da…

Its not very often that I get to go hang out late at night. Usually I get home so late from work that I’m not able to do much except check my mail, maybe post a blog, and read. Woo hoo, captain excitement over here.
But last night, Luke and I went out to paint the town several shades of Red… excluding all those shades that can be deemed pink, or salmon. Blood red. Yeah, thats what we wanted to do.
Instead we went into this all night cafe on Cameron Street. There we met some interesting people, including a guy who looked like an overweight Smeagol… I kid you not. It was odd.
While we sat there in this very well lit place, I was struck by the loneliness of it. Bright white walls and clean counters all shouted down how things were supposed to be but weren’t. The waitress has two jobs and works close to 90 hrs a week, she says, yelling over the strains of old songs that only reinforce the longing she has not to work, but to be held by someone. “I don’t want the world to see me, ’cause I don’t think that they’d understand. When everything’s made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am…” Sing it goo goo. Tell us more about who she is, or ratehr, who she’d rather be.
Then we met this guy named Pap, a retired Federal Worker, who also used to be a janitor at the waitress’s high school. How they found each other after all this time, I don’t know. We never talked about that. Pap wanted to give Luke and I lessons about love. Luke decided, he told me on the car ride home, that if he did the exact opposite of everything Pap told us, he would be sure to have a great life and an excellent marriage.
In each of Pap’s questions, there was a longing for a connection. He had hopes that we would give him some mental image, or some reassurance to make him feel ok. That maybe he had lived his life the right way. His life was hard, and it was. He said he had a heart attack when he was 12. But after a partial life under his mom’s overprotective eye, he lived it up hard core. A psychodelic rock band in the 60’s, tons of drugs, and all the girls he wanted. A heart surgery, and a widower later, he just can’t do those things any more that made him feel as though he was alive.
Under the maudalin strains of unrequited love, we sat and listened, talked music, and laughed. Pap was looking for an ear. The waitress was looking for someone to share her burdens with. Luke and I were just looking for an out of the way spot, but I think a found a good reassurance to my calling.
It says that Jesus felt compassion towards the people who were following him, and they were hungry for food of Heaven and of Earth, This mob wanted Jesus to be who He said He was. They wanted to be beyond satisfaction, they wanted to be above satiation. And He was moved with compassion. As I sat and listened to Pap and to the waitress, who I regreattably forgot her name, there was a part of me that just wanted to stand up and give him a hug. To let him know that I did care. I wonder how long it had been since anyone had done that? I wonder how long it had been since someone had walked up to our waitress and asked how she was really doing, not as a customer, but as someone with general concern.

How long had it been?

Currently listening :
Dummy
By Portishead
Release date: 17 October, 1994

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March 11, 2006 – Saturday

Death and Taxes

I was reading yesterday about the graves of craving. This refers to Numbers when God fed the Israelites with quail and then soem of them were struck dead..
There is something worse than death about standing before God, face-to-face, and telling Him that I chose everything else before Him. I craved after all these things, before I longed to know Him, to see Him, to feel His touch.
These things are what I want more than life.

& yet to know that I know this,
but still choose other things
a lot.

Please don’t think I’m begging, but, I’v noticed that my blog gets read quite a bit. Now a couple of days ago I mentioned that my wife and I are expecting. I do realise that some of you knew this, but not all of you. And for those of you that did find out via my blog, why no comment? no congratulations. Not even a blue mountain e-card.

No. I know what you’re thinking… I’l just do it now. Wel, it’d be better if you just called me or something. Come on people, this is a grand occasion! Put on your shoes and dance. Claire is becoming a big sister! Woo hoo!

Currently listening :
Abandon
By Jason Morant
Release date: 08 June, 2004

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March 10, 2006 – Friday

ever did ya think…

I’ve been easily astounded stupefied by thinks i think I take for granted. Its these sayings that make you think and, make you stop to wonder…
For instance:
“Keep breathing.” This is an action we take for granted, but did you ever really just stop to breathe? And really take notice?

“Open up your eyes.” We walk away in almost a daze. I think I can drive home with my eyes shut. Has that ever happened to you? You’re driving, and you’ve been thinking about lots of otehrthings, and then you realise you are down the road, further than you expected? Your mind just kinda takes over, adn yet you don;t notice anything. So, I guess, open up your eyes.

Amazing.
I think God’s really trying to show me something. Like He’s writing with His finger on my brain. Trying to make me slow down and really take notice of my surroundings. Of the people there. They’re not just scenery.

Currently listening :
If I Left the Zoo
By Jars of Clay
Release date: 09 November, 1999

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March 8, 2006 – Wednesday

we are not alone

How amazing is the love of Christ? I stand in awe of it, and makes me sit and wonder.
Here is this woman who is being dragged to the Temple, being caught in the act of adultery, by a mob of men who want to kill her. And Jesus the Christ starts writing in the dirt. This woman is expecting death for her actions, and gets doodles, lines drawn in the sand. The Creator playing with that which He made humanity out of. What is she thinking? Is this the end?
No.
Instead, we see the love of Christ. He no more wanted her blood shed than the mob to want it. They were not just thirsty for her blood, but His also. And He knew it. But He would not give it to them, yet.
What He wanted was for them all to be different, to be who He created them to be.
Forgiveness is such a blessing and shows the mercy and grace of our Father. While we were, are, continue to be sinners, He loves us despite of us. He wants us to be different, to be who He created us to be. He does not wnat us to be dragged into a court, or to be dragging others there. He longs for us to come running to Him, wanting Him more than all His gifts. He wants my all.
And so I hear that beautiful refrain:
“Into Marvelous Light I’m Running
Out of darkness, out of shame…”

Go, sin no more.
Currently reading :
The Complete Poetry and Selected Prose of John Donne (Modern Library Classics)
By John Donne
Release date: 14 August, 2001

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March 6, 2006 – Monday

I’m a dad… again!

So, mark your calendars! We, as of right now, are expecting our new child to arrive on Oct. 13, which is a friday.
Its amazing! We’re having another baby! God has blessed us again, of course without us knowing about it. lol… I think half of the world know before Heather wanted them to because I can not keep a secret.. and this was awesome news! It’s amazing!

We’re having another one of these:


Of course, I would be happy with a boy, too.
Maybe two boys.
Last time I prayed for twin boys, I got one girl.

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March 1, 2006 – Wednesday

Ash Wednesday, baby

“It’s not a question of God ‘sending’ us to Hell. In each of us there is something growing up which will of itself be Hell unless it is nipped in the bud. The natter is serious: let us put ourselves in His hands at once- this very day, this hour.”

~ C.S. Lewis
“The Problem with X…”

“You shall not wrong one another, but you shall fear your God, for I am the Lord your God.”

~ Lev. 25:17 esv

Through Lent, as I sit retrospect and truly ponder and seek my own repentance, I pray that God not transform, but transfigure – for He alone knows my capabilities and gifts because He gave them to me. He does not wnat me to become someone He did not create. He longs for the flower that will arise out of this particualr seed.
And as I enter my lenten celebration, I will seek for a change in some things, and a re-affirmation to others. I winnowing down. Jesus coming in with righteous anger and overthrowing the tables that clutter my life, and throwing out the venders and bankers that bar my way from Him. I seek to love others as I am loved and not try to harp on their faults, because they are my own, as well. An extreme case of “the Plankeye”.
Become my first love, Father, again so I may love others for Your glory and renown. Become my voice so I may not sin against You. Lead me in Your ways and protect me for Your name’s sake.

Amen

Currently reading :
The Complete English Poems (Everyman’s Library (Cloth))
By John Donne
Release date: 15 October, 1991

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February 28, 2006 – Tuesday

Where are you running?

When I was in Nashville with some of my friends for Passion ’06, I was absolutely blown away by one of Charlie Hall’s sings “Into Marvelous Light (I’m running)”. Its just this amazing motivational song. It is so affriming about who we are and who God is! God is the Marvelous Light, and I chose a direction to Him.

And I’m not walking.. no no… I’m running!

1 Peter 2:9 says, “But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.” (ESV)

Currently listening :
Flying into Daybreak
By Charlie Hall
Release date: 24 January, 2006

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Bon Mardi Gras a tout mes amis!

Well, so here we are at Mardi Gras, the day before Ash Wednesday marking teh 40 day lenten celebration before Easter. Having it this late in the year seems normal to me, not sure why. It just does. ANd what am i doing for Lent this year? Well, I’m not gonna tell. If you ask I may, but I’d as why. Its not becuase I’m proud of it. In fact, its a shameful thing to have to recognize a weakness then attack it for 40 days. But our Father has warned us that we need to be careful that when we fast from things, that we are to act as if everything is normal, that way our reward will truly be received. Every good and perfect gift…
But I had an odd converstaion today with two co-workers at the Robin, and I was a bit, well, I dunno, annoyed, and a little weirded out by the thought that Mardi Gras has become such a base ritual for some. It really is no different for them than a regular odd tuesday, but this night now carries significance because it is the night of the Baccanal. Its weird. I equate it to a bit like partying on the tomb of Christ on that long saturday. Such sacrifice and meaning taken so lightly can only lead to taking nothing seriously. What do they take seriously? I find very little when we talk. Their goals are easy and so often met… get drunk and sleep around. Maybe not around, but with a chosen someone.
I sometimes forget that I used to be like them. The severity of my laxity with God is amazing to me now. I can not take His gift lightly, nor His invitation. He did call me and love me first. Maybe this time, as I refelct on who I am and who God wants me to be for the next 40 days, I can help others to see Him more clearly than I see Him now.

Currently listening :
The Artist in the Ambulance
By Thrice
Release date: 22 July, 2003

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February 25, 2006 – Saturday

The shadow of God

There is still brilliance in the shadow of God. We can still see the light, but can not feel its warmth.

I think thats why its scary.

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February 21, 2006 – Tuesday

My daughter is older than soem things

well, today my daughter, my first born, turns a year old! Its amazing. On one hand I can;t remember life before her, and on the other I remember it perfectly well. It’s as if I see her in everything now. She is inseparable from my life in every aspect, and so all I do is caught up in her and I weigh what i do in how it affects her. My wife has had much this same affect on me.
Is this something close to how God sees us? Can he remember a time before He created us and how does He feel about it? Are we so ingrained in this His plan, that we cannot be separated from it? Is this love lavished, or is He ever caught thinking, “How could I have ever been without?”

Currently reading :
Julius Caesar (Folger Shakespeare Library)
By William Shakespeare
Release date: 01 January, 2004

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February 22, 2006 – Wednesday

21st

So, today is my friend luke’s 21st birthday… or it will be in about ten minutes. Does it seem weird to anyone else that I have a friend almost 5 eyars younger than I am? Does it seem wierd that this friend of mine missed a whole lot of important events, like Mr Hooper dying on Sesame Street?
To some degree yes.
But I won;t let his age or my stupidity come between the facts that he is a great guy and I care for him like a little brother. So…
Happy Birthday, Luke, and many happy returns of the day.

Don’t forget to breathe.

Send him a hello and good tides: http://www.myspace.com/ticketedpassengersonly

Currently listening :
X&Y
By Coldplay
Release date: 07 June, 2005

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